its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
