Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Randomize
