Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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