She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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