Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
