You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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