Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
