Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
