Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
