So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
