she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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