i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
