I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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