You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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