I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
