He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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