He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
