Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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