So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
