I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
