i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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