I wish life had little blips of pornography
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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