You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
