By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
