a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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