idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
be right there i have to get my cape
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
