Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
