she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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