All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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