Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
