i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
