pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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