FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
