I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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