We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
