Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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