'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Your penis caused this!
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