youre lurking in front of me
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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