I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
where does the pee come out of this thing
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
