I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
