i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
