Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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