Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
