scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
