its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
