id be glad to
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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