it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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