I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
