Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
