its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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