i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
